MY POETIC WROLD
MY POETIC WROLD
I LIVE IN A DIZZY WORLD FULL OF MY MADNESS AND INSANITY.
FRAGMENTS OF MY POETIC SOUL, WHICH YOU WOULD NEVER IMAGINED ABOUT.
这是你从未涉足过的空间。
Bloody veils
In the vale where the night winds wail,
Fell a silence that dressed the dale,
As the moon wept red, the heavens bled,
And the earth beneath was a slaughterous bed.
Steel did clash and the brave did dash,
On the field where the brave met death’s rash,
Bones were shattered, flesh was torn,
Under the sky where the battle was born.
The raven’s cry over corpses flew,
Feasting on the dusk’s bloody dew,
Hearts once valiant, now stilled and cold,
Lay amongst the marred soil, uncontrolled.
Rivers crimson with warriors’ pride,
Flowing from wounds deep and wide,
In the brutal dance, the relentless prance,
Where lives were lost in the dire expanse.
No glory found in the brutal fray,
Only the nightfall's mournful bray,
Echoing pain, the sole refrain,
On the field where blood falls like rain.
Each drop a tale of dreams unmet,
In the savage silence, suns have set,
For the brutal truth in the end is told,
In the bloodied soil, dark and cold.
根
爱人是一片春叶,
我在一个寂凉的初春中,
盘坐在树荫下。
我厌恶树叶的隐蔽,
他自顾自地操作着我的好恶,
用手拍打附在我身上的叶片。
有一片,
轻飘飘地飞入我的手中,
搔挠着我的掌心。
我瞥其一眼,拾起,
嗅其味。
腐烂的味道,泥泞。
奇怪,
生命力。
这一片金红叶,是最特殊的一叶。
我见到,
鸮噬咬尸肉的悬崖边,垂钓于死亡界。
雪白的骨殖被啃咬的看不出其原来模样。
我听到,
花朵亲吻月亮的轻笑声,讥讽、刺耳。
马匹甩着蹄子向山顶奔跑,
摸着硌手突兀却清晰跳动的脉搏。
风强暴了朋克魂,可憎地让人令人作呕,
越是多么皎洁,越是多么惆怅狰狞。
在春天,悲伤、大步阔绰地前进的你。
花丛的尽头是目的,
玫瑰只会被踩碎,
你是一片被血染红的金叶,
他们如蝇逐臭。
我亲吻你成根茎。
WHAT ARE POETS FOR
I spent the first semester of my undergraduate studies at NYU Gallatin. I took the First-Year Writing Seminar: What Are Poets For? as my mandatory writing class. Here are some clips of creative writing assignments from this class.
By the way, I inserted some photography, taken by me on the trip to D.C., into this page to make it less monotonous:)
I sit alone in the dim corners of a café, where the air is thick with tobacco and whispers of existential dread. The clink of glasses, a symphony of despair, accompanies my brooding thoughts. In this cavern of fleeting pleasures, I find refuge in the bitter taste of wine, each sip a reminder of love's fleeting embrace. The street outside, wet with rain, reflects the gas lamps' ghostly glow, casting shadows that dance like specters of my past. Time loses its grip in these moments, and I am adrift in the sea of human folly, where every face tells a story of lost dreams and unspoken regrets.
The rhythm of growing up can't keep pace with the deterioration of my illness, the nail firmly embedded in my spine. I beseech a kind healer for salvation. The healer removes the nail, applies soothing balms, but this scar remains etched in my bones, invisible and intangible. Occasionally, it sneaks out, a malicious reminder that the bone still aches. Can you believe it? We always assume nerves are the root of pain, yet here, the bones themselves play mischievous tricks.
I kiss my bony scar, whispering gratitude. "Thank you," I say, "for transforming into a beautiful butterfly, reminding me to bury myself in pollen." Let's not talk about probabilities. Perhaps I'll find a flower bed, or maybe the butterfly will be replaced by winter plum blossoms. If I find the flower bed, the root cause dissipates, yet inflammation may resurface.
After the bitter winter plum blossoms replace it, this scar will hide in the crevices of stones, darting around like a monkey, seeking acknowledgment. Nowhere is easy totraverse. This ailment is truly vexing, akin to a relentless pursuit, like a tattered beetle. All of this is but a fall into chaos and confusion.
In the quiet corridors of a home once filled with laughter, now echo the whispers of a fractured fairy tale. Walls that once held the warmth of united dreams, stand witness to the silent meals and unspoken grief. A child, their eyes mirroring the confusion of a torn heart, navigates the uncharted waters of loyalty divided. They learn to dance to the discordant rhythm of alternating weekends, their small hands clutching memories in a backpack, shuttling between two worlds, two lives. The language of their heritage, once a lullaby, now sounds like a puzzle with pieces lost in the void of separation. Amidst the cultural tapestry of honor and tradition, they stitch together a new identity, finding resilience in the rift, strength in the sorrow.
2022
一些2022年的文字不完整记录。
2022年对我来说是一段重塑般的时期。
不太想去过多赘述这些情绪和思考,只是去感受就好。
目前只想发出来这么多。
2022.5.28
他问我,我是什么时候死的。
死是什么,我问他。
是寂静无声之地的一声狂嚎哀嚎,
还是肉体里心脏的停止跳动,
是火车到达终点发出的通知声和轰鸣声,
还是石子落入大海的毫无响声。
他说,是火光灭的时候。
——火光灭的时候,
是什么时候?
他将帽子扔到一处,述说,
“一个夜晚,我辗转反侧难以入眠,我把所有的灯全部关掉,我望着我看不见形的天花板,我好难过,我好痛苦,我哭了,一滴一滴的落泪。
那是我死的时候。”
什么感受,什么想法,什么场景。
“你只能听到空调发出的嗡嗡声,你只能看见你看不到底的黑,你只能摸到你自己,虚空疲惫的你自己,你也只有你自己。”
“好痛啊,挑皮剥筋的痛。”
听见了吗,他说他很痛。
坚硬的盔甲融合血液的流动,
苍白的头骨融合冰川的融化,
我望见,
宇宙尽头的悬崖,跳下去是生命的反复,
反复过去,生命进入新的轮回,周而复始。
我看见,
地狱和天堂的分界线融合海天交界,
那是地平线,也是狱浴的划分线。
我瞟见,
我脚趾的末端爬满普鲁士军人,
他们在我的指甲盖上尽情的跳着踢踏舞,
时不时歌几首跑调的曲子。
我梦见,
我被困在一座密不透风的城堡里,
冰冷的枷锁捆绑着我的身体和灵魂,
他们好似是和上帝做了交易将我卖给撒旦,
我被判处无期徒刑,终生致死也剥夺我的自由。
我的幻想,我的梦境,
那是我的灵魂闪烁的一角。
我听见,
角落锯木头的声音,
或许是空调作响的机械声,
又或者是邻居夫妻的夜晚呻吟声,
甚至于是鬼魂凄厉的低吼声,
掺杂爱欲与否,冰冷与否,
你是否觉得其恐惧可憎,你是否觉得其恶心痛苦。
你的思想,
都和这声音毫无关系。
2022.8.6
2022.6.20
我的梦:
“因探索外来星体物种的特殊任务执行员将于明日下午四点于A-6437降落……”
电视里的新闻解说员这么说到。
“这个执行员多半是九死一生咯!”妈妈盯着屏幕里的新闻大声说,妹妹在一旁玩着手里的拼装玩具。
我有些疑惑的望向她,她看了我一眼解释说:“外来星体落到地球,执行员将外来星体送至母星,为防外来因素影响人体,一不做二不休就把外来星体和执行员一起销毁,以个人性命换地球群众的性命。”
我点了点头,也不知道该怎么样对这样的言辞报以想法,是对的吗?是不对的吗?
“咚咚咚!”
急促的敲门声盖过了新闻播报声。
我跑过去开门,破旧的木门发出“吱吱呀呀”的响声,两个朋友出现在门后:小衡操纵着手里的无人机,无人机环绕着我们的木屋,之后歘的飞高,驰骋在灰色的天空中,盘旋在这破败贫瘠的田野里。阿辛手里握着三张车票,得意的半扬着嘴角,高高举起手,晃动着车票。
“嘿!要不要见证历史!”
“明天去A-6437!”
阿辛扯着嗓子大喊,他一直这样。永远喜欢追随着新鲜事物,在无数个过往的日夜里,就像今天这样敲开我们的屋门,给我提出一个又一个不容回绝的邀请。
我回头望向屋里的妈妈,目光中透露着渴望,征求这她的意见,妈妈和妹妹已经屡见不鲜,妈妈点了点头。我立马冲上去,从阿辛的手里抢过了一个机票。
我不清楚这是多少多少年。
时间的名称已经变得不再重要。
可我清楚这是什么样的年代。
这是一个单色年代。
是一个世界上除了单色不再有任何颜色的世界。
你只会看到灰色,灰色,灰色,灰色。
天空一直是灰色的,自我出生以来。
皮肤一直是灰色的,自我出生以来。
我看到的,也都是灰色。
这是一个只有一个区域名称的时代,
一个没有国度之分,没有种族之分的地球。
一个没有所谓的,种族主义,国家主义和宗教主义的民族大团结。
这是一个人们不在乎过去,也不在乎未来的时代。
这是一个,存在于未来的过去。
这是一个时空交叠的世界。
次日,我们乘坐铁皮火车到达了A-6437,路途上我望着窗外转瞬即逝的景物,什么也没想。
树丫上盘旋的群鸟,叽叽喳喳的叫唤个不停,翅膀上沾染了鲜血的艳红,喷洒的,爆发的,夺目的,凌乱的!唯一的!
充斥着腐烂味的野草地,坑坑洼洼,崎岖不平,潮湿萎靡的气味钻进我的鼻孔里进入我的鼻窦里,在其中发酵,在其中生长,在其中颠倒。
破旧的独轮单车哐当掉落在地上,支离破碎的单车中走出一个衣冠楚楚的青年,众人热烈鼓掌欢迎其凯旋。
黑盒掉落,迸发,无形的声音回荡在耳边,冲刺着脑膜,闪光埋在瞳孔的背后,眼珠的正中,命令敲响,不得不跟随其行起手势,任其摆布。
傀儡的身体,空无的大脑,意志的力量毫无用处,强大的伟力压制你畸变你控制你,鬼上身的木然怔然,废物的脑子和脆弱的身体双双其飞,挟持住你的未来,捏碎你的心脏。爆浆,裂开,血肉染红了灰色的地,灰色的全貌被红色的血腥染作骄日的夕阳。
今天的雨下了个不停。
从凌晨三更时的细雨蒙丝,到次日零点交界处的湿黏绵延。我在二楼的阳台中听雨,听雨落在栏杆上清脆的响声,听初秋时节雨纷纷的温柔静谧。
雨风拽落树枝上发枯的残叶,飘落在我的手掌里,我抚摸这叶片的纹路,我攒住,它碎住。这一叶,似是人世间最痛苦的一页,也似乎是我心脏跳动的最后一搏。
我也摸不清这风雨,吹落的是树叶,还是击碎的是我最后的挂念。
这冰棱,也不过是随着风声和雨滴,伴着言语和敲打,刺破了我的每一寸肌肤。
2022.8.28
GAllATIN REVIEW
I prepared those three works for gallatin review. Although I didn’t get those works collected but I still wanna share those moods.
Whispers of Valor
In the vale where the night winds wail,
Fell a silence that dressed the dale,
As the moon wept red, the heavens bled,
And the earth beneath was a slaughterous bed.
Steel did clash and the brave did dash,
On the field where the brave met death’s rash,
Bones were shattered, flesh was torn,
Under the sky where the battle was born.
The raven’s cry over corpses flew,
Feasting on the dusk’s bloody dew,
Hearts once valiant, now stilled and cold,
Lay amongst the marred soil, uncontrolled.
Rivers crimson with warriors’ pride,
Flowing from wounds deep and wide,
In the brutal dance, the relentless prance,
Where lives were lost in the dire expanse.
No glory found in the brutal fray,
Only the nightfall's mournful bray,
Echoing pain, the sole refrain,
On the field where blood falls like rain.
Each drop a tale of dreams unmet,
In the savage silence, suns have set,
For the brutal truth in the end is told,
In the bloodied soil, dark and cold.
The Abyss of My Season
In the waning light of Autumn's sigh,
Where shadows dance and the cold winds cry,
I wander through the twilight, lost,
In a world of frost, at such a cost.
Beneath the boughs of weeping trees,
Whispered secrets ride the breeze,
Echoes of a time that's flown,
In the heart of winter, stark and lone.
The moon, a ghostly specter, peers,
Through the cloak of night, the end nears,
As stars like frozen tears do gleam,
In the dark abyss, a silent scream.
Spring's rebirth, a distant dream,
Underneath the world's harsh regime,
Hope lies buried, under snow's shroud,
In the quiet, both fierce and proud.
The sun's rays, a memory faint,
In this realm, where joy is quaint,
Each petal, leaf, a story untold,
In the grasp of seasons, bold and cold.
As the cycle turns, relentless, raw,
In the grasp of nature's law,
Each moment, a brushstroke of pain,
In the tapestry of life's refrain.
Here, in the depths of the season's hell,
Where dreams wither, and sorrows swell,
I find beauty, stark and true,
In the cycle of the old and new.
The dance of time, both cruel and fair,
In the abyss, I find my stare,
For in the heart of nature's maw,
Lies the truth, raw and raw.
\
Phantasmagic Corpse
In the labyrinth of endless night,
Where shadows twist in ghastly plight,
I walk alone, through corridors
Of broken dreams and phantom wars.
The air is thick with unspoken fears,
Echoing the cries of forgotten years,
A gallery of grotesque, twisted faces,
Lost in this void of desolate spaces.
The moon, a pale, uncaring eye,
Gazes down from a starless sky,
Its light, a sickly, pallid glow,
Illuminates the world below.
Here, the flowers bloom in hues of decay,
Their fragrance a foul, morbid bouquet,
Petals like flesh, wilted and torn,
In this garden where despair is born.
The river flows with a silent moan,
Through a land of bone and stone,
Its waters black like the depths of sin,
Reflecting the chaos that dwells within.
In this realm where time has ceased,
Beauty and horror have interlaced,
A tapestry woven from the darkest thread,
In the kingdom of the living dead.
The whisper of madness, soft and low,
Speaks of secrets none should know,
In this world of nightmarish fantasy,
Where the soul is bound, yet eerily free.
Here, in the shadow of the absurd,
Where the lines of reality are blurred,
I find a truth, twisted and strange,
In the heart of the dark, beyond change.